He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
