So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
