I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
