it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
