You smell like a Billy Joel song
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
