I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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