we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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