Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
