I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Drunk is not a location!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
