I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize