what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
