I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
