my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
