On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
