I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
