There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
