Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
