I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You took a bar mat shot.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
