Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
