There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
