direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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