Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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