Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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