I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
