I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
