Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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