Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
