did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
