what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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