Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
