allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
