Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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