Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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