It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
