i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
