In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
