Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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