hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
