and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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