no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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