If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
