I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
