MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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