I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize