but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
