you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
