God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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