i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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