Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
