the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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