matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
