cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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