remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I could make wine with my vomit
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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