i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
