The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
3pm strippers are depressing
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
