it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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