Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
