they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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