upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Drake has all the answers
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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